Everyone's a Winner! (?)

Today I was at Rocket Fizz in Burbank, a fun store with hundreds of sodas to choose from, retro candies, a free pinball machine, etc. While chatting with the owner, I picked out some stuff to give out as prizes at tomorrow's Halloween Party. I ended up leaving with a yard of gum, a Pumpkin lollipop, 6 gummy worms/lizards, two tubs of cotton candy, a sour necklace, and a bouquet of lollipops.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the e-vites to tomorrow's party out in time so I'm not entirely sure how many kids will be there. I am fairly sure I have enough for everyone to get something, but if not, we'll also have grab boxes of regular fun-size candies. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if despite my best intentions there weren't enough "big" prizes to go around.

Question of the Day: What is it about our society that makes us try to shield young children from the reality that not everyone can win everything?

I think this just makes loss more heartbreaking later in life. Once you hit junior high or high school, after all, you're expected to understand that awards and accolades are special precisely because they are not given to everyone. That's why they're worth something when you win them!

Don't get me wrong... I never like to see a sad kid. In fact, for a lot of children, especially our Little Pandas (ages 3-5), the awards they win at our school are the first they've ever won, period. I'm also sure I'll feel differently when I have my own children. But for now, I'd like to think that teaching children about disappointment is just as important as teaching them about self-confidence and self-esteem. That way, they know that even if they don't come home with a medal or a prize, the most important thing is that they tried their hardest.

After all, if we (as parents and educators) make everything too easy to achieve, how will our children learn to really, really push themselves?

Martial Arts: Daycation?

I'm proud to say that I know quite a bit about C.A.M.A.'s students. I can tell you where most of our students live, work, whether or not they are married, have children, etc. (Do the employees at your local gym even know your name?)

This begs the question: Why do I know so much about the people I teach?

When Sifu Todd Shawn Tei (my husband), C.A.M.A.'s Chief Instructor, opened the school, he was quoted in an article as saying, "I want my school to be like a modern-day Shaolin Temple where people can come to get away from the stress of daily life."

And it is. Students often come to class for advice, or simply a listening ear. It's not all bad news - I love hearing about our students' triumphs, big or small. I enjoy sharing mine, too.

Just another unexpected perk of the job.

Mrs. Miyagi's Maiden Voyage

Well, here goes: my first blog post as Mrs. Miyagi. Whatever the title of this blog may suggest, I do not imagine myself as any better or more enlightened than the next person. However, I do know how martial arts training has enhanced my own life and I teach others what I've learned in hopes that martial arts will improve theirs, too.

While I don't practice karate (I'm a Wing Chun stylist), I loved The Karate Kid. In fact, I constantly fight the temptation to use a Mr. Miyagi quote in class. I think often of the scene where Mr. Miyagi is teaching Daniel-san blocks on his boat, and Daniel-san asks, "When am I gonna learn how to punch?"

(Of course, Mr. Miyagi responds by rocking the boat and sending Daniel-san into the water, saying, "Learn how punch, after you learn how keep dry!" Those were the days.)

I get these kinds of questions from my students and their parents all the time. From parents of beginners: when will my kid learn the first form? A few months later: What about the second form? After a lesson on punching: When will I learn how to kick? And after a lesson on kicking: Well, what about stancework?

All very good questions, I must admit.

As a teacher, I like to know how long a student plans to train with me so I know how long I have to teach them. For example, given only one day with a fifteen year-old girl, I would skip to basic self-defense: kick the groin, jab the eyes, punch the throat, run away. Given one week with the same girl, I would cover more: proper punching form, defense against headlocks, basic kicks. Neither situation is ideal. Given at least three months, I can do so much better - I can cover both self-defense techniques AND more importantly, I can work on her self-confidence and focus to ensure that she can actually use her training should she ever need to.

I don't blame students or their parents for eagerness or impatience. It's natural to want to learn more, or to wonder what comes next. But as a teacher, I can see what they sometimes can't: I have a plan. Give me enough time, effort and respect and I will give you all the skills you need to achieve your goals both in and out of the kwoon (martial arts school).

As Mr. Miyagi said: "We make sacred pact. I promise teach karate to you, you promise learn."