Sifu Nancy, part 2

On December 17th, Gabriel Sabloff & I were certified Sifus under Sifu Tei's Wing Chun association. We each received a spiffy pair of butterfly knives, a certificate, and embroidered sashes.

Yesterday, I was working with some of the kids on Leadership Training. Now, Rome wasn't built in a day, but we did explore the following:

1) The importance of speaking loudly and confidently when leading a class through a form.
2) The difference between saying something with uncertainty ("side kick???") and saying the same thing confidently ("side kick!").

Within ten or so minutes I could see most of the kids improving. It wasn't that the kids were no longer shy or uncertain, it was just that they understood the importance of acting and animating like leaders, and by acting with confidence they soon began to feel confidence.

Mini-mission accomplished.

Sifu Nancy

Sifu Nancy. Sifu Nancy Tei. Sifu Tei. I am practicing, trying to make it sound natural in my head, because in less than two weeks I won't be just Nancy anymore.

How strange.

Remember to be Grateful

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”

I saw this on a childhood friend’s Facebook and decided it was time to write another blog entry. This is one of those little nuggets of wisdom that is easy to say and very hard to follow. After all, how can a starving little boy be grateful for his hunger? I suppose you could say the hunger might motivate him to work for a better life… there’s also a number of religious arguments that can be made here… but you know what they say, if you want to lose all your friends, talk politics or religion.

However, because the subject of this blog is martial arts, I’ll take this quote and tell you what I thought of first when I read it. I thought of all the sit-ups I dole out to the kids, and how they groan when they have to do them. If only I could tell the kids to be glad that their parents are investing the time and money to enroll them in a quality extracurricular activity; that their parents (for the most part) see the value in all we teach – not just self-defense but compassion, discipline, focus, and perseverance…

I also thought of the adults whose excitement over a new technique often gives way to frustration over the effort required to learn it…

Maybe next time I’ll tell them: Remember to be grateful that you even have the opportunity to struggle.

Holiday in the Park 2009

The pictures say almost everything, though they miss Stirling, age 3, totally melting down and wailing out of fright on stage - he recovered nicely and finished the show without incident - as well as our epic walk with the kids all the way down Magnolia Boulevard.

After the show, one of the parents commented to me that his son "felt like he was part of something" - and I had to smile because I do, too.

Field Trip!

Our field trip to Hsi Lai Temple was a SUCCESS!

Pictures are up on our Facebook and we're working on getting them on the website. We had a group of 53 people. One of the students brought donuts in the morning for the earlybirds. Once at the Temple the kids munched on snacks (provided by yours truly) while we got organized. The kids asked plenty of questions on the tour and were extremely polite. To my immense surprise, the kids loved the vegan buffet. It's amazing what kids will eat if you give them a choice - raw carrots, jicama, tempura, miso soup...

The primary goal of the trip was to educate everyone about Chinese and Buddhist culture. The secondary goal was to help build and promote a sense of community and friendship among our students. Both were more than achieved.

I am now turning my attention to Friday's Demonstration at Holiday in the Park. It's a busy month, but I love it. :)

Some Schools Give Rewards for Nothing...

I frequently pass other martial arts schools by and see trophies stacked five high in the windows. (I suspect that most of these are bought from Trophy Depot merely for effect.) I also often see signs advertising specials such as this:

"$99 Introductory Program - Includes Trophy!"

I am confused. Are we now teaching children that they deserve knee-high, glistening trophies for doing nothing but coming to class as ordered to by their parents? Do parents really see these signs and get excited rather than realizing that a school such as this obviously can't teach the finer points of honor and respect if they give out trophies like candy?

On Monday, we gave one of our students, a ten year-old who has been at our school for two or three months, a coveted award pin. (The students pin their awards to their collars.) Why? Not for excellent ability or memorizing a form, though we sometimes give awards out for that too.

The student received the award because he was not feeling well, but he came to class regardless because he needed to practice for our upcoming demonstration event. He knew that there were other people counting on him, and that the right thing to do was to come to class.

The pins are fairly simple - his depicted the yin and yang - compared to the huge, gaudy trophies that most students at other schools receive... but if I were a parent I'd take a rarely given, well-deserved award over a meaningless showpiece any day.

The Price of Commitment

I'd like to preface this entry by saying that I did not study martial arts as a child.

There are many parents who don't enroll their children in martial arts, for whatever reason. However, there's nary a child who hasn't taken swimming lessons. Every parent seems to know that swimming is an important skill to learn - the obvious consequence being drowning.

I just have to say this: martial arts is like swimming. EVERY CHILD should have to learn martial arts until they have acquired basic self-defense skills!

What are the chances that your child will be caught in the deep end of a pool or in the ocean, with no adults around to save them, and have to swim for their lives? Not great, but not slim, either. Well, what are the chances that your child will be caught in a situation where they'll have to defend themselves, either against a bully or worse, a predator or abductor? Not great, but not slim, either. You can keep an eye on your child around the pool, but can you follow them everywhere they go to keep them from becoming the victim of a kidnapper?

All parents have a responsibility to arm their children with basic verbal and physical self-defense skills.

Okay, I'm off of my soap box.

Everyone's a Winner! (?)

Today I was at Rocket Fizz in Burbank, a fun store with hundreds of sodas to choose from, retro candies, a free pinball machine, etc. While chatting with the owner, I picked out some stuff to give out as prizes at tomorrow's Halloween Party. I ended up leaving with a yard of gum, a Pumpkin lollipop, 6 gummy worms/lizards, two tubs of cotton candy, a sour necklace, and a bouquet of lollipops.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the e-vites to tomorrow's party out in time so I'm not entirely sure how many kids will be there. I am fairly sure I have enough for everyone to get something, but if not, we'll also have grab boxes of regular fun-size candies. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if despite my best intentions there weren't enough "big" prizes to go around.

Question of the Day: What is it about our society that makes us try to shield young children from the reality that not everyone can win everything?

I think this just makes loss more heartbreaking later in life. Once you hit junior high or high school, after all, you're expected to understand that awards and accolades are special precisely because they are not given to everyone. That's why they're worth something when you win them!

Don't get me wrong... I never like to see a sad kid. In fact, for a lot of children, especially our Little Pandas (ages 3-5), the awards they win at our school are the first they've ever won, period. I'm also sure I'll feel differently when I have my own children. But for now, I'd like to think that teaching children about disappointment is just as important as teaching them about self-confidence and self-esteem. That way, they know that even if they don't come home with a medal or a prize, the most important thing is that they tried their hardest.

After all, if we (as parents and educators) make everything too easy to achieve, how will our children learn to really, really push themselves?

Martial Arts: Daycation?

I'm proud to say that I know quite a bit about C.A.M.A.'s students. I can tell you where most of our students live, work, whether or not they are married, have children, etc. (Do the employees at your local gym even know your name?)

This begs the question: Why do I know so much about the people I teach?

When Sifu Todd Shawn Tei (my husband), C.A.M.A.'s Chief Instructor, opened the school, he was quoted in an article as saying, "I want my school to be like a modern-day Shaolin Temple where people can come to get away from the stress of daily life."

And it is. Students often come to class for advice, or simply a listening ear. It's not all bad news - I love hearing about our students' triumphs, big or small. I enjoy sharing mine, too.

Just another unexpected perk of the job.

Mrs. Miyagi's Maiden Voyage

Well, here goes: my first blog post as Mrs. Miyagi. Whatever the title of this blog may suggest, I do not imagine myself as any better or more enlightened than the next person. However, I do know how martial arts training has enhanced my own life and I teach others what I've learned in hopes that martial arts will improve theirs, too.

While I don't practice karate (I'm a Wing Chun stylist), I loved The Karate Kid. In fact, I constantly fight the temptation to use a Mr. Miyagi quote in class. I think often of the scene where Mr. Miyagi is teaching Daniel-san blocks on his boat, and Daniel-san asks, "When am I gonna learn how to punch?"

(Of course, Mr. Miyagi responds by rocking the boat and sending Daniel-san into the water, saying, "Learn how punch, after you learn how keep dry!" Those were the days.)

I get these kinds of questions from my students and their parents all the time. From parents of beginners: when will my kid learn the first form? A few months later: What about the second form? After a lesson on punching: When will I learn how to kick? And after a lesson on kicking: Well, what about stancework?

All very good questions, I must admit.

As a teacher, I like to know how long a student plans to train with me so I know how long I have to teach them. For example, given only one day with a fifteen year-old girl, I would skip to basic self-defense: kick the groin, jab the eyes, punch the throat, run away. Given one week with the same girl, I would cover more: proper punching form, defense against headlocks, basic kicks. Neither situation is ideal. Given at least three months, I can do so much better - I can cover both self-defense techniques AND more importantly, I can work on her self-confidence and focus to ensure that she can actually use her training should she ever need to.

I don't blame students or their parents for eagerness or impatience. It's natural to want to learn more, or to wonder what comes next. But as a teacher, I can see what they sometimes can't: I have a plan. Give me enough time, effort and respect and I will give you all the skills you need to achieve your goals both in and out of the kwoon (martial arts school).

As Mr. Miyagi said: "We make sacred pact. I promise teach karate to you, you promise learn."